By Judy Seifert (Contact / Staff Bio)
October 17, 2009 - 08:55 a.m. EST

Before anyone gets upset with this week’s column, let me preface it by saying my mother has approved it.

Why, you may ask? Because we (all of us in my family) happen to have a sense of humor and we (all of us) don’t take ourselves all that seriously.

So here we go.

My mom’s had a hearing problem in one ear most of her life. The problem has gotten worse over the past few years but she’s been reluctant to wear hearing aids.

Well, the time has come, my friends.

Last night, I went into her side of the house to talk, but we couldn’t. The televison volume was set on #63.

Here’s how the intermittent conversation with mom went.

“Mom, do you need the car tomorrow?”

“What?” she said.

“Do you need the car?”

“I’ll call Nancy tomorrow,” she replied.

Okay. Time to get the hearing aids out.

I turned down the television and mentioned that since she’s been living with us, six years now, the volume control has steadily risen from high 30s, to somewhere in the 40s, then into the 50s and now the 60s.

So, we got the hearing aid box out and looked at them. We looked some more. We turned them around, upside down, not really sure which way to put them in. Strange little creatures, we both agreed.

After a few minutes, we found the batteries (tiny things with a tab on them for easy installation) and replaced them. We found the program button and the volume button. Now we needed to figure out how to adjust them to mom’s ears.

The screeching we both heard was a clear signal that something was amiss. After about an hour, we both agreed it was time to read the instructions.

Okay, we read the book, found the really tiny, itty bitty tools that come with the aids and started adjusting.

Guess what? Our hard work paid off.

Mom admits its going to take her awhile to get used to them. She’s using two right now because its recommended but I’m pretty sure in time she’ll be able to figure out herself what’s best.

Now, the only thing that we still find pretty funny is the noise emanating from her ears on occasion.

She’s talking to me, right?

This noise jets out of her ears and leaves us both staring at each other in total amazement.

“What the heck is that,” I asked her.

“I’m not sure, but get used to it. That’s the price you’re going to pay for making me wear these,” she snappily rejoined.

Okay, I’ll get used to it.

Oh, and another benefit she raised herself, “well, you’ll be able to find me if I ever get lost... just tune into my frequency,” she added.

That’s it for me this week.

Bye.