By Greg Riccardi (Contact / Staff Bio)
November 14, 2009 - 09:14 a.m. EST

A few minor annoyances

Just a thing or three buggin’ me…

I am not a fan of these staple-like things that were installed over or dug into the center lines of large portions of state highways during the late stages of summer this year.

I heard or read that the intended aim of the mini-barriers is to make drowsy or drunken drivers aware that their vehicles are drifting toward the other side of the road.

But, speaking as one who has always tended to drive a little closer to the center of the roadway because the large vans I’ve had for so many years are difficult to handle when making sudden, unexpected contact with the shoulder, the new implants are an irritant.

I’m sure I’m not alone in hating the way my tires sound when I’m crossing the road to pass another vehicle, but I’m more bothered by the staples as I’m contemplating the move. While I’m trying to safely assess what’s coming in the opposite lane, I find that my left front tire has to touch those edges about a dozen different times (bzzpt…bzzpt, then back into my lane - every few seconds); unless, of course, I choose to fall back about six car lengths so I can see without incurring the annoying sound — which defeats the whole purpose, because that’s too far back to pass!!

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We all have TV commercials we consider dumb, but one such ad that has run locally for far too many months, in my opinion, is a pitch extolling the clarity of telephone service offered by Charter Communications.

It shows a women sitting on the floor as she calls her boyfriend to tell him that she loves him. She’s nearly brought to tears by the emotion of her declaration.

His response? He tries to make it sound as if the connection is breaking up, so he won’t have to acknowledge her or—god forbid—respond in kind.

He crinkles a bag of potato chips (the signal is so clear, she can tell what flavor!). He runs something across the front of his apartment’s radiator (she knows immediately!). He starts his blender to drown her out (the reception is so crystal clear, she can tell what setting it’s on!)

She ends the spot by sarcastically snorting the word ‘blend’.

First question—why does she even care about this loser?

And, personally, I’m offended by the lazy stereotype that all men, emotion-wise, run for the hills whenever talk of love enters the picture. Alas, I have little hope for the success of this relationship since our disillusioned heroine can run the gamut from weepy affection to caustic cynicism in less than 20 seconds.

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As a person who’s always been interested in words, I’ve addressed in this space my dislike for the recent trend of nouns being used as verbs.

On a recent news show, I heard this beauty for the first time—aggressed.

This, evidently, is verbal shorthand for being spoken to in a forceful, aggressive manner; as in “he aggressed me”.

Let’s all stay away from this one, shall we?